My hubby and I put our “Blow $” in seperate checking accounts

Then we have 3 savings accounts. (1) Emerg. Fund (2) Gift Giving/Holiday/vacation $ (3) Incidentials that we don’t spend every month (ie: clothing,subscriptions, home repairs, replace furniture, etc). Then Quicken Splits it so we know when and where we use it. Once allocated and downloaded into Quicken it helps with our monthly cash flow sheet.

Well, this is one of the issues that I do disagree with Leon on

I think for some people that keeping separate accounts IS a good, and perfectly healthy option. I actually prefer having yours, mine and ours accounts. Some of this depends on personalities. If you have a spender, and a saver, allowing each person to have a small checking account with a debit card can be good for both. (this is how I take my pocket money, in my checking for my debit card. I’ll save up to buy something, larger even though I give DH more pocket money.) As he will spend every cent that he has at his disposal. When I allowed him to have more and more and more money because he spent all of his pocket money on Mt Dew and chips, and denied myself pocket money, I got resentful. I know people who have remarried, and have adult children. If they keep some of their money separate, if the husband gives his daughter money for an apartment security deposit, his wife has nothing to say, like, “AGAIN!?!??!” If the daughter doesn’t pay back, it’s just his loss, not THEIR loss. The same is true if the wife lends, or gives money to one of her adult children.

We don’t have a conventional marriage and combining

our lives isn’t in the cards. We are friends and try to work together, but our relationship isn’t permanant by any means. We have no doubt that our friendship will last though. Perhaps our relationship isn’t suited to this kind of program. Keeping that in mind, if it works better for the program, would it be easier to think of me as single but with a housemate? It seems most of the issues the group is confused about has to do with my marital status, not my money.


I think there are some fundamental things you guys need to work on before you’ll make headway on the money issues. For one, Leon would say, and I totally agree, that you guys need to get on the same page – as in combine your incomes, your accounts, your debts and your lives. You guys are a team. If something should happen to one of you, would you not give everything and anything to help each other? Believe me, I’m not judging. I don’t have all the answers. In fact, my sister and brother in law keep their money separate and I know for a fact that it totally stems from distrust and power issues, becuase they’ve said so one way or another. It’s dishearting, and I’ve told them that if their marriage is to have a fighting chance, they need to stand together. And I can tell you, sitting down and deciding to be not only debt free but be rich in the long run creates a unifying momentum like nothing else.

One thing I worry about is my husband gettitng too involved

I’d like him want the same things I want, and be willing to sacrifice to get them. On the other hand, if he’s happy living in the house we are in now, it doesn’t make that much of a difference. He’s not that expensive to keep up. Even with his support, I probably won’t have the house and extra cash I want until long after we aren’t together so it’s really ok if he’s just along for the ride right now. The main thing I want is for him to know what I’m doing so that I have someone to discuss things with when I’m not sure what to do. Also, he has a seperate income from the military (about $300/month) that I’d like him to start taking better care of. This is supposed to be used for his car insurance, tags, upkeep, and gas, but there have been times when I’ve had to loan him gas money. It’s not a big deal right now, but eventually, when I have my own “real” job and income, I’d like to turn over his regular job’s income over to him so I don’t have to mess with my money and his money both.

I’d love some ideas on how to get him interested

Connie, I think this is one of the biggest issues. Without having your spouse on board, it’s really difficult to be successful with Leon’s program. My husband wasn’t quite on board until I made it clear that I needed to feel secure in our future before I was comfortable starting a family. He REALLY wants children, so I think that made him really pay attention. I still have the feeling that if I decided to give up on this he would go along with whatever I wanted, so I still have some self-imposed pressure to stay motivated. I think what Leon would recommend in terms of getting a spouse on board, especially if you’ve been doing all the budgeting, is to sit down with your spouse and really go over the budget together. Before we started this plan, my husband paid all the bills and I had no clue what was in our checking account at any given time. I had a vague idea of what we made, but I had no clue what was coming in or going out each month. We’ve only been married for 7 months and just merged our bank accounts a few months before starting Dave’s program. After I started doing a budget, I realized quickly where we were spending too much money and we cut back drastically… and it didn’t even hurt that much! We also decided to move to a less expensive rental unit so that we could pay off the debt quicker, save a downpayment for a house, and buy something on solid financial ground. Maybe if your spouse sees the income vs. the outflow every month, that will be the start to wake them up! Then, you can figure out how long it’ll take to get out of debt Leon’s way (rice and beans) or your way…. THAT was a big motivator for me!! 4+ years our way vs. 2 years Dave’s way. Once you have a timeline it just makes things more complete. Best of luck!!

Wow—$70 an hour for labor and $200 for front brakes

Hubby is definitely undercharging for side jobs that he is doing for brakes! To do front brakes—he charges like $50—-including parts! This would be just brakes, no rotors…..correct? Might have to discuss this post with him. He is a mechanic, but he works for a local big college (works on their fleet of vehicles— hundreds of them.). Because he never bills clients—he never keeps up with billing rates. So–generally—side jobs—he just charges parts and a little bit for his time. But, apparently—he could easy up his rates some and still be cheaper than the shop….definitely something to discuss….

Wow—$800 for brake pads, etc?

Hubby is a mechanic and buys parts for like $50-$100—depending if doing fronts, backs, or both. Do you know someone that would do it out of shop cheaper for you? Wish I lived closer to you—would loan you hubby……

Yeah, Mercedes charges exorbitant fees for

any work they perform on their cars and I believe they literally HATE to see me coming. I might go to them for a factory part – in this case factory oil filters- and it takes them about an hour to “find the part” to sell it to me. I buy 3 at a time. I don’t like the feel and form of the after market filter… At first they felt the need to send the service manager to have a meeting with me, desperate attempts ensued imploring me to think of all the money I invested in a classic automobile, why take the chance of ruining such a fine machine. Thing is, buddy was young enough to be my child…and well I’d been changing oil in cars since he was just a good time in his father’s mind…so the conversation didn’t go over well. Now they just make me wait.

Yeah, the *labor* is usually what kills you

The parts usually aren’t that expensive. And of course, you need the skill to MAKE the repair. I’ve replaced brake pads before. I *tried* to replace rotors once, but they were frozen in place and I couldn’t get the parts off. So, I had to take the car to the shop. Plus I don’t have a garage, so if the car needs work during cold or rainy weather I can’t work on it.

Trying this a. My phone sent it before I was done

Did I mention I am having one of those days ? LOL I have had another Murphy week. The transmission went out on the suburban this morning. We were in a parking space with a pole at the front bumper and the reverse went out. We are pretty sure it’s the transmission but, hubby is gone to have the cylanoids checked on a computer. I got a great deal on a transmission replacement $850 from my cousin who is a great mechanic.BTW I just replaced the spark plugs and wires this weekend. I guess murphy laughed ! Then I made a huge $200 error in my checking. I usually keep it balanced to the penny and have for years. I still can’t believe I did that. Nothing bounced and I caught it quickly. I am still kicking myself on that one. So, if you need me I will be hiding under a rock till this day passes. 😉

I, too, read that and my first reaction was it isn’t so much the ‘financial’ stress as ANY stress

At least, that’s my inclination. Any sort of stress is quite distracting; so much so that one isn’t going to do as good a job on anything when their attention is splintered. A budgeting buddy is always a very good idea, though, as in most aspects of life, second opinions are always food for though.

Sorry to hear that she’s getting a hard time about it

but she should keep her head up and continue to do what she’s doing. She is learning invaluable skills which will last her a lifetime. I’ve met so many people – men who seem to like that I can speak “their” lingo and it puts them to ease with their conversation, and probably just as many women who like for me to give them a tip or a trick to encourage them. She is the girl!

I gotta keep it clean?

What I usually tell people, might offend some of you on the list. Lets just say, that they will rob you blind and you’ll allow it. Liken them to prostitution – they are the pimp, extortionists etc.