I think there are some fundamental things you guys need to work on before you’ll make headway on the money issues. For one, Leon would say, and I totally agree, that you guys need to get on the same page – as in combine your incomes, your accounts, your debts and your lives.
You guys are a team. If something should happen to one of you, would you not give everything and anything to help each other?
Believe me, I’m not judging. I don’t have all the answers. In fact, my sister and brother in law keep their money separate and I know for a fact that it totally stems from distrust and power issues, becuase they’ve said so one way or another. It’s dishearting, and I’ve told them that if their marriage is to have a fighting chance, they need to stand together.
And I can tell you, sitting down and deciding to be not only debt free but be rich in the long run creates a unifying momentum like nothing else.